[ So as not to keep Helena wondering who her unplanned visitor might be, Alice hastens to return the greeting, softer than his voice usually tends to sound. It must be distinguishable from others' voices by now, he imagines, the moment he speaks instead of merely standing there.
His eyes travel over Helena's features, noting the lingering signs of the week taking its toll on her. Her nights have surely been restless.
He doesn't doubt that she has received other visitors, friends coming to see how she's faring, and his own presence is hardly necessary... He could pretend otherwise, bolstered by a single memory, but what can he even offer her?
[Mr. Yabusame? a surprise, for sure - but she shakes her head, since she won't turn him away. his voice wasn't among the ones she was expecting, but if she had to pick, his certainly wasn't going to be amiss.]
That's all right, I don't mind. Would you like to come in for a bit?
[thankfully, Subaru's out, so it means she can ask people in without awkwardness.]
[ Of course — it would be rather weird if he were to stand outside in the hallway for the two of them to carry on a conversation across the threshold. Upon being invited, he moves closer to enter the room, announcing his approach with each step, audible against the hard floor. Since he'll take up almost the entire doorway coming through, he waits for Helena to return to any chosen seat before he heads further in himself.
Then it occurs to him that she'll most likely want to close the door again, and so he hurriedly vacates that area. Truthfully, visiting a different dorm room makes him curious — Star 4 is filled with unique items... No doubt Star 1 reflects the tastes of its occupants as well. ]
At any rate, it... was a relief to see you about...
[there's a noticeable gap in the room, where a bunk bed should go. beyond that, the wall has a dazzling array of suncatchers, bright and reflecting the light from the open ceiling, no doubt put there by another occupant. at present, the desk they "borrowed" from the school has its chair, papers and a few notebooks stacked on it. the twin beds that remain in the room have been pushed together, covered in a mix of blankets, and a hammock is a resting place for a small assortment of plushies - cat, bunny, and a creature that can only be described as "uncanny."
it's a quieter room than his, to be sure. she'll take up a seat on the bed, and let him choose wherever he pleases. for a second, his words are confusing, and then she remembers her own absence.]
Sorry to worry you...going to classes seemed a bit daunting, so I stayed here, mostly. But don't worry, I'm not going to fall behind or anything.
[ On the whole, the room seems nicely decorated, cozy. It doesn't appear to contain anything hazardous, simply arranged for normal everyday use. The plushies are charming — even the odd one out beside a cat and a bunny — and Alice entertains the possibility that they might be shared between Helena and her roommates.
That said, the space where another bed should be stands out. Natsume Sakasaki came to Star 4 from another room, didn't he? He and Helena Adams seem to be more than mere acquaintances or casual roommates.
Not entirely sure where to claim a seat, Alice steps closer to the bed. He isn't here to ask nosy questions. ]
...Why are you apologizing to me, Helena Adams? [ Again! Even though she hasn't done anything wrong... ] You don't owe me an explanation.
Because I caused you anxiety. Of course I'd apologize for that.
[sensing his state, she decides to pat the bed next to her. it's okay, after all - after sleeping in the same room, and him witnessing her nightmares, a few of the regular steps of decorum can be skipped.]
...And you witnessed me losing control, at that meeting.
[she's sorry for that, too. even with Maple's conversation, she can't shake the last few threads that want to call it a disgrace.]
[ He's silent for a moment, contemplating Helena's perspective, as he sits down beside her as prompted. The mattress dips beneath him; head turned to regard Helena, he shifts to cross one leg over the other. ]
You're human, aren't you? You may be remarkably polite and composed most of the time, but you experience emotions like anyone else. Obviously I don't know what others thought, but I didn't think badly of you for your absence or the meeting...
[ Could anyone, when it's clear that both were the product of grief? Plenty of people have done worse. ]
[she could protest, could explain how the entire affair simply wasn't like her, but she's had enough conversation that simple acceptance seems like the best answer. she is human, even though she'd rather be more composed than not.]
I meant what I said there - I wish there was another path, one where everyone was still alive, but life is never that simple. Not in this place.
[and now, she can only whisper to the monument in the forest that she forgives Rantarou Amami, because he must have suffered so silently. alone, when he didn't need to.]
...There's no need to be so formal, you know. Unless you prefer it.
[ Yes, he's being relatively formal himself, and Helena Adams isn't the only one to address him with courteous distance, but he's not accustomed to it. Then again, it's possible that as a Westerner, she finds his name strange to use — he's well aware that it's unusual for a man to be named Alice.
(Come to think of it... What sort of mental picture does she have of him?! He must believe in her ability to sense stripes — and that she doesn't share Jou Tazuna's opinion that he doesn't seem to be the jogging type.)
He'd like to hope that his words have made a difference, but life truly isn't that simple. ]
I meant what I said as well... Rantarou Amami seemed kind. Surely he wished for a different path himself.
Knowing him as I did, you were correct. He wasn't a man to soak his hands in blood unless he felt as though there was nothing left, and it would lose someone precious to him if he remained still.
[because...Keigo meant the world to him. as if they were flesh and blood family.]
...That said, I'll call you Alice if you call me Helena. You don't have to add the last name, if you'd rather not.
[ It's that conviction again, there in Helena's remarks, and the sentiments she describes are understandable. They can't be in the minority, thinking so.
If it came to that, who wouldn't exhaust all options in the pursuit of doing anything and everything within their power to protect someone they hold dear? ]
Well... Perhaps people will listen to you, and remember him as you do... Helena.
[ Though Alice hesitates, no more accustomed to crossing the distance he chooses than he is to finding himself surrounded by kind people, he accepts Helena's newest invitation, too. ]
[the smile she gives him is gentle, an encouragement for making that effort.]
We'll see, won't we? Even if they don't...even if his name is blackened, I'll still have my faith in him, no matter what is said. Until he returns, things will be murky - but it means there's room enough to doubt, to believe in him. This place tries your very spirit, after all.
[ Helena can't see him return her smile until his own falters, something wistful there to take its place, but he can't conceal the way his voice catches in his throat when it emerges, nor his subsequent attempt to clear it. ]
...I'm sure it makes a difference. Your faith in him... When he returns, he won't be nothing but a murderer... because there are people here who know him.
[ That knowledge eases their pain at least somewhat, too, right? And forgiveness from those affected is a precious thing. ]
When he returns, Alice...I won't presume to know your feelings on everything, for it is a difficult issue. But if you doubt in your heart, if you would want to give him a chance at demonstrating who he really is...I'm sure he'd appreciate any attempt at friendship you could muster.
[she won't tell him what to do, how to feel. but if Alice is like her, with compassion ready to be extended, she can't think of someone else who'd need it on their first day back more than him.]
[ The matter is complicated, there's no doubt about that, but what little Alice knows tells him enough. Helena is a good person, and Rantarou Amami appears to be no less so. His actions, the damning decisions of someone driven to desperation, can be traced to a goal that lends support to just that. ]
His fish await his return... and I shall offer to purchase a recommended beverage from the vending machines.
[ The very same recommendation that Rantarou Amami himself obtained for him when they met, in fact. That time, it was completely beetle-free... ]
I'll even share my exam-taking techniques again, should he need them...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ So as not to keep Helena wondering who her unplanned visitor might be, Alice hastens to return the greeting, softer than his voice usually tends to sound. It must be distinguishable from others' voices by now, he imagines, the moment he speaks instead of merely standing there.
His eyes travel over Helena's features, noting the lingering signs of the week taking its toll on her. Her nights have surely been restless.
He doesn't doubt that she has received other visitors, friends coming to see how she's faring, and his own presence is hardly necessary... He could pretend otherwise, bolstered by a single memory, but what can he even offer her?
All the same, here he is. ]
I... won't stay long, if you wish to be alone.
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That's all right, I don't mind. Would you like to come in for a bit?
[thankfully, Subaru's out, so it means she can ask people in without awkwardness.]
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[ Of course — it would be rather weird if he were to stand outside in the hallway for the two of them to carry on a conversation across the threshold. Upon being invited, he moves closer to enter the room, announcing his approach with each step, audible against the hard floor. Since he'll take up almost the entire doorway coming through, he waits for Helena to return to any chosen seat before he heads further in himself.
Then it occurs to him that she'll most likely want to close the door again, and so he hurriedly vacates that area. Truthfully, visiting a different dorm room makes him curious — Star 4 is filled with unique items... No doubt Star 1 reflects the tastes of its occupants as well. ]
At any rate, it... was a relief to see you about...
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it's a quieter room than his, to be sure. she'll take up a seat on the bed, and let him choose wherever he pleases. for a second, his words are confusing, and then she remembers her own absence.]
Sorry to worry you...going to classes seemed a bit daunting, so I stayed here, mostly. But don't worry, I'm not going to fall behind or anything.
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That said, the space where another bed should be stands out. Natsume Sakasaki came to Star 4 from another room, didn't he? He and Helena Adams seem to be more than mere acquaintances or casual roommates.
Not entirely sure where to claim a seat, Alice steps closer to the bed. He isn't here to ask nosy questions. ]
...Why are you apologizing to me, Helena Adams? [ Again! Even though she hasn't done anything wrong... ] You don't owe me an explanation.
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[sensing his state, she decides to pat the bed next to her. it's okay, after all - after sleeping in the same room, and him witnessing her nightmares, a few of the regular steps of decorum can be skipped.]
...And you witnessed me losing control, at that meeting.
[she's sorry for that, too. even with Maple's conversation, she can't shake the last few threads that want to call it a disgrace.]
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You're human, aren't you? You may be remarkably polite and composed most of the time, but you experience emotions like anyone else. Obviously I don't know what others thought, but I didn't think badly of you for your absence or the meeting...
[ Could anyone, when it's clear that both were the product of grief? Plenty of people have done worse. ]
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[she could protest, could explain how the entire affair simply wasn't like her, but she's had enough conversation that simple acceptance seems like the best answer. she is human, even though she'd rather be more composed than not.]
I meant what I said there - I wish there was another path, one where everyone was still alive, but life is never that simple. Not in this place.
[and now, she can only whisper to the monument in the forest that she forgives Rantarou Amami, because he must have suffered so silently. alone, when he didn't need to.]
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[ Yes, he's being relatively formal himself, and Helena Adams isn't the only one to address him with courteous distance, but he's not accustomed to it. Then again, it's possible that as a Westerner, she finds his name strange to use — he's well aware that it's unusual for a man to be named Alice.
(Come to think of it... What sort of mental picture does she have of him?! He must believe in her ability to sense stripes — and that she doesn't share Jou Tazuna's opinion that he doesn't seem to be the jogging type.)
He'd like to hope that his words have made a difference, but life truly isn't that simple. ]
I meant what I said as well... Rantarou Amami seemed kind. Surely he wished for a different path himself.
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[because...Keigo meant the world to him. as if they were flesh and blood family.]
...That said, I'll call you Alice if you call me Helena. You don't have to add the last name, if you'd rather not.
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If it came to that, who wouldn't exhaust all options in the pursuit of doing anything and everything within their power to protect someone they hold dear? ]
Well... Perhaps people will listen to you, and remember him as you do... Helena.
[ Though Alice hesitates, no more accustomed to crossing the distance he chooses than he is to finding himself surrounded by kind people, he accepts Helena's newest invitation, too. ]
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We'll see, won't we? Even if they don't...even if his name is blackened, I'll still have my faith in him, no matter what is said. Until he returns, things will be murky - but it means there's room enough to doubt, to believe in him. This place tries your very spirit, after all.
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...I'm sure it makes a difference. Your faith in him... When he returns, he won't be nothing but a murderer... because there are people here who know him.
[ That knowledge eases their pain at least somewhat, too, right? And forgiveness from those affected is a precious thing. ]
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[she won't tell him what to do, how to feel. but if Alice is like her, with compassion ready to be extended, she can't think of someone else who'd need it on their first day back more than him.]
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His fish await his return... and I shall offer to purchase a recommended beverage from the vending machines.
[ The very same recommendation that Rantarou Amami himself obtained for him when they met, in fact. That time, it was completely beetle-free... ]
I'll even share my exam-taking techniques again, should he need them...