[her cane guides her, the little taps providing enough information to move by. she's walked this path much, anyway, from going to build snow bunnies to sledding to trying to push against the barrier and not making it out. now, she's not going with a joyful purpose, but a purpose all the same.]
Thank you. But I've got it...just lead me to the where.
Okay. [ It just takes her a couple seconds to find the right path leading out of the clearing - it's started to get worn down a bit, but there's still plenty of grass, softly crunching under her feet as she walks the path.
First she finds the tree that Sara found her under the previous day, wind whistling through its trees - then she makes a left, pushes through some taller weeds and past a couple bushes in order to get to the right spot. She checks behind her every couple seconds to make sure Helena's following well enough. ]
It's just here. [ She stops in front of the little cairn - a small pile of gacha rocks, surrounded by a little circle of the same rocks to mark a memorial site. ]
It's... a little bit for all of them. Even if I didn't know the Arisus, really...
[she's quiet, coming nearer to it, and when she's close enough, she stops and kneels on the ground, the damp earth cold through the fabric of her skirt. it feels right, it feels sacred, like approaching an altar to pray. only, she doesn't want to pray if someone else can hear her - not these kind of prayers.]
You said Miss Chidouin helped you, as well?
[even in her grief, she still bears that silent resentment, and so Sara gets her last name.]
Mm... [ She keeps defaulting to last names anyway by instinct, so she doesn't really notice Helena's veiled intent with the wording. ]
It was her idea... I helped build it, though.
[ Shuffling awkwardly on her feet, grass crunching under her. Rubbing her fingers against the buttons on her game console, in her pocket, for comfort. ]
They're not here for me to be kind to... it's for us, I guess. I needed a place to... think about all this. Maybe talk to them a little.
[it's an honest question, born of a grieving heart. asked softly, as she stays where she is, bringing her cane across her lap to keep her steady.
breathing. if she was a worse person, uncontrolled by her education, her will, she'd want to scream at the heavens for the injustice of making death hurt again.]
[ Two, she'd never met. One, only in passing, at meetings and in the hallways. But the fourth was who had brought horrified tears to her eyes the previous day. She lowers her gaze. ]
I only have memories from the last few weeks... even though I was here before. But... Arata-san and I made the school store posters together. They helped me at a time when I needed it. We talked, and played games together...
[ Her voice falters and dies. It hadn't been enough. There's never enough time. All the time spent with Keigo and she barely knew them. ]
What about you, Helena-san? [ She already... guesses, that Helena knew both of them better. The shrieks and sobs from the previous day aren't something she'll easily forget. ]
[her hands fiddle with the cane on her lap, and she wonders how much to tell. that Rantarou was the first person to treat her with kindness here. that she's held Keigo when they were small and big alike, her clothes stained with their tears and their name given to her like a blessing.]
I knew them well.
[it's not a game to be won, this pain.]
...Sorry, Miss Chiaki, but I think I want to be alone for a little while.
[before she weeps again, salts the earth with it, and falls to pieces in a grief that wants to bitterly lash out at anything that comes near.]
Of course. [ It's a completely understandable request. Nanami would hear more if Helena wanted to offer it, today or another day...
But she was surprised Helena was alright with spending as much time with Nanami as she did, after yesterday. And Nanami goes to the cairn as a place to privately grieve, too... ]
I'll go make Subaru-kun's sandwich. I'll talk to you later, Helena-san.
[ And she's traipsing back to the school, her soft footsteps in the grass receding as she returns home. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Thank you. But I've got it...just lead me to the where.
no subject
First she finds the tree that Sara found her under the previous day, wind whistling through its trees - then she makes a left, pushes through some taller weeds and past a couple bushes in order to get to the right spot. She checks behind her every couple seconds to make sure Helena's following well enough. ]
It's just here. [ She stops in front of the little cairn - a small pile of gacha rocks, surrounded by a little circle of the same rocks to mark a memorial site. ]
It's... a little bit for all of them. Even if I didn't know the Arisus, really...
no subject
[she's quiet, coming nearer to it, and when she's close enough, she stops and kneels on the ground, the damp earth cold through the fabric of her skirt. it feels right, it feels sacred, like approaching an altar to pray. only, she doesn't want to pray if someone else can hear her - not these kind of prayers.]
You said Miss Chidouin helped you, as well?
[even in her grief, she still bears that silent resentment, and so Sara gets her last name.]
no subject
It was her idea... I helped build it, though.
[ Shuffling awkwardly on her feet, grass crunching under her. Rubbing her fingers against the buttons on her game console, in her pocket, for comfort. ]
They're not here for me to be kind to... it's for us, I guess. I needed a place to... think about all this. Maybe talk to them a little.
no subject
[it's an honest question, born of a grieving heart. asked softly, as she stays where she is, bringing her cane across her lap to keep her steady.
breathing. if she was a worse person, uncontrolled by her education, her will, she'd want to scream at the heavens for the injustice of making death hurt again.]
no subject
I only have memories from the last few weeks... even though I was here before. But... Arata-san and I made the school store posters together. They helped me at a time when I needed it. We talked, and played games together...
[ Her voice falters and dies. It hadn't been enough. There's never enough time. All the time spent with Keigo and she barely knew them. ]
What about you, Helena-san? [ She already... guesses, that Helena knew both of them better. The shrieks and sobs from the previous day aren't something she'll easily forget. ]
no subject
I knew them well.
[it's not a game to be won, this pain.]
...Sorry, Miss Chiaki, but I think I want to be alone for a little while.
[before she weeps again, salts the earth with it, and falls to pieces in a grief that wants to bitterly lash out at anything that comes near.]
no subject
But she was surprised Helena was alright with spending as much time with Nanami as she did, after yesterday. And Nanami goes to the cairn as a place to privately grieve, too... ]
I'll go make Subaru-kun's sandwich. I'll talk to you later, Helena-san.
[ And she's traipsing back to the school, her soft footsteps in the grass receding as she returns home. ]