Erin has a thoughtline for tonight's gossip section, and it involves no gossip whatsoever. When they've settled in and gotten ready for bed and all, ready to sit up and talk, Erin dances a little worry doll across her fingers, wrapped in twine.
"Helena..." Erin pauses. Then: "I'm gonna preface this by saying terms and conditions very much apply, including a time limit, but...what's your thoughtline on the idea that I could help you see? Not all the time, not permanently, but more than never and more than one time."
The expression that drifts across her features is deeply contemplative, perplexed but willing to hear Erin out.
"Truthfully, I've never even considered the prospect. Even though I know there's memory of sight somewhere in my head, the illness came when I was so young that as far back as I can recall, there's none of it to compare to."
Erin makes a thoughtful sound. "Recently one of the talents of my people was returned to me; the creation of dream vessels, little toys that you weave a dream into. By making one I can give someone a dream of my design without having to be in their head, see what they're seeing, or otherwise intrude on their privacy...and as a result, with some time and effort and a drop of power, I can loan my Contracts out to mortals, such as you. Here in my hand is one with a shapeshifting trick in it, one that would let you trade your current eyes out for something non-human but functional. Hawk eyes, cameras, octopus eyes, hell get snail eyes if you like, it'd be creepy but cute as hell on you. But: it only lasts for an hour, and it needs to be used within a day of dreaming the dream in the vessel. Like I said, terms and conditions."
It's so much to take in. It's a big, big offer to make - and a storm of emotions come up from it. Longing and envy and wonder and fear and doubt, and nothing in it provides instant acceptance or denial. It's a wonderful offer, but it scares her to the core. What if she likes it too much to let it go? She'll have to mourn what she can't have. What if it scares her, too much at once? But the option, the option is wonderful.
"Not at all. I've made a doll in advance; if you decline the offer it'll go to a good home, and if you change your mind it's just a matter of a few hours and some energy. I can't stress enough that this is only about the level of bother and effort as like...knitting a scarf." Erin sets said doll down on her bedside table; it makes a little wooden noise. "I've been meaning to bring this up for a couple weeks now but I wasn't sure how to. Like...I'm offering an experience, basically, y'know?"
"Yes. It's marvelous, Erin, don't get me wrong - thank you so much for even thinking of it. It's just...so big, I'm not sure what to do with it yet. Perhaps for now, the doll could go to its other home, while I decide? Or..."
How best to phrase this.
"...I did think if I was to see, if only for a brief section of time, I'd want to be surrounded by beautiful things for that moment. But then I know I'd be always wondering what other things looked like, in some way."
Erin makes a soft sound of agreement. "That was a thought that had occurred to me, along with like...whether or not you'd even want to see, even to try it. I know I'm personally bitter about being blind but like...my relationship to it isn't yours. Y'know?"
"I've had nearly all my life to be accustomed to it. Your time is so small, measured against your entire life - you have so much taken up by memories, by a certain way of being, that now that it's changed, I'd be surprised if you weren't bitter."
Here she chuckles, drawing up her legs.
"According to my father, I was a terror until somehow I understood that it wasn't going to change back. Frustrated, irritable, and without any understanding of why. He said if he could have given me his eyes to spare me that, he would have, without question."
"...I'm trying to imagine you being even smaller but I can't seem to reduce your height in my mind's eye." Little light bullying from the giant sword lady, it's Fine(tm). "He sounds like a hell of a dad. And like...for reference there's other options available with that power. If you've ever wondered about having giant spider legs or being able to shock things like an electric eel or, I dunno, doing a bat's echolocation trick, 's on the table. It's just that you only really get one thing per doll."
In spite of herself, a little grin crosses her face. It's almost been a relief that everyone was too caught up in the who and what of the trial and the resurrected dead to pay too much attention to how the damning clue was found.
"If anything, they and I may understand each other."
"They are! In my time we call them sky puppies and they are known now to be fucking adorable." Erin sighs fondly; bats are so good. "...Being honest I've only used that trick for myself once so far, so Cass could show me an artbook of her home. I'm...worried that if I keep spending power to walk around with eyes I won't have that power when I need it. If the ship was less dangerous..."
But it isn't. And while it's not the same concern as Helena's, it does attend the same family reunions as that concern.
Their hands held, it feels more like an official promise.
"Keep the power for yourself right now, so that you have it in time of need. And when we are somewhere beautiful, somewhere we can see a clear sunrise or a lovely field or something like that, and there's no danger to be found for that piece of time, I'll take you up on that offer. How does that sound for a promise?"
"Sounds good," Erin agrees heartily. "But keep other opportunities in mind, yeah? There's a lot of beauty right here on the ship, and people to show it to you."
Returning to her bed, Helena tucks herself back under the blankets to keep her feet warm.
"I've started pursuing self-defense, actually. Mr. Maximum offered to teach me, and suffice it to say, I think the exact form of what he's offering will work well. How to resist someone faster, stronger, bigger than you...I don't think I'll ever be a warrior, but new survival skills would be foolish to decline."
"Love that for you, and it's always a nice boost of confidence to be able to handle yourself too. Lemme know if you want any lessons on my end, I know some joint locks that sweet ol' grannies can use. They don't care how strong anyone is."
"I'll be sure to let you know. I want to get some basics down first, but he's been a good teacher. And Darcy's helping me with building my strength in general. It'll be nice to feel a little more capable with things."
Enough to vault quicker, to run a little faster - survival, but a tangible goal.
"She's admirably determined when she's made up her mind. I'm sorry I didn't try and get to know her better sooner - it shouldn't take a tragedy to do so. But there's plenty of things to speak of beyond that one incident."
That Darcy knew about her bringing tea for the Captain, she keeps to herself - Erin's opinion of the Captain is still not quite known, and she doesn't want to raise a tempest where it isn't needed.
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Action, Late January || Cabin 134
"Helena..." Erin pauses. Then: "I'm gonna preface this by saying terms and conditions very much apply, including a time limit, but...what's your thoughtline on the idea that I could help you see? Not all the time, not permanently, but more than never and more than one time."
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"Truthfully, I've never even considered the prospect. Even though I know there's memory of sight somewhere in my head, the illness came when I was so young that as far back as I can recall, there's none of it to compare to."
But...sight now? Curious, very much so.
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It's so much to take in. It's a big, big offer to make - and a storm of emotions come up from it. Longing and envy and wonder and fear and doubt, and nothing in it provides instant acceptance or denial. It's a wonderful offer, but it scares her to the core. What if she likes it too much to let it go? She'll have to mourn what she can't have. What if it scares her, too much at once? But the option, the option is wonderful.
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How best to phrase this.
"...I did think if I was to see, if only for a brief section of time, I'd want to be surrounded by beautiful things for that moment. But then I know I'd be always wondering what other things looked like, in some way."
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Here she chuckles, drawing up her legs.
"According to my father, I was a terror until somehow I understood that it wasn't going to change back. Frustrated, irritable, and without any understanding of why. He said if he could have given me his eyes to spare me that, he would have, without question."
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In spite of herself, a little grin crosses her face. It's almost been a relief that everyone was too caught up in the who and what of the trial and the resurrected dead to pay too much attention to how the damning clue was found.
"If anything, they and I may understand each other."
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Listen, Erin is vulnerable to cute mental images, it's gonna be a minute.
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Just to make Erin's mental image better.
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But it isn't. And while it's not the same concern as Helena's, it does attend the same family reunions as that concern.
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If Erin's bed isn't close enough to reach, she'll hop out of hers and hold out her hand.
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"Keep the power for yourself right now, so that you have it in time of need. And when we are somewhere beautiful, somewhere we can see a clear sunrise or a lovely field or something like that, and there's no danger to be found for that piece of time, I'll take you up on that offer. How does that sound for a promise?"
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"I've started pursuing self-defense, actually. Mr. Maximum offered to teach me, and suffice it to say, I think the exact form of what he's offering will work well. How to resist someone faster, stronger, bigger than you...I don't think I'll ever be a warrior, but new survival skills would be foolish to decline."
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Enough to vault quicker, to run a little faster - survival, but a tangible goal.
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Erin makes a mental note to check on Darcy soon.
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That Darcy knew about her bringing tea for the Captain, she keeps to herself - Erin's opinion of the Captain is still not quite known, and she doesn't want to raise a tempest where it isn't needed.
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Maybe Helena can get Darcy to eat right.
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