[ It's like a bucket of ice water being dumped on her head. 'Whatever you did to her'. She's never had someone concerned for her safety such that they'd willingly go with her instead of stopping her. It wasn't even within the realm of possibility. ]
I did, [ Her voice is weak, ] I thought you were taking Erin's side. Nobody wants me to be angry here. It's... mmf. I'm sorry. I didn't know that's what you were offering.
Erin is currently concerned with blaming herself that Daisy went and did all of that. I am not on her side with this.
[it's blunt, but it conceals the depths beneath that. what caused it, why it happened, why Erin blames herself, those aren't things Darcy cares about, and not Helena's to share. that she's opened Erin's ribcage and unerringly laid her hands on her bearing heart, that's theirs to keep.]
The only thing I agree with her on is that killing her won't do any good. People come back here, so it's a useless form of revenge. But just because they come back doesn't mean it didn't happen. What you feel is still there. You can still be angry about it.
[and...she's going to sit down, to make this less of an interrogation.]
...I could have been clearer about things, though. I just didn't want her to overhear that I was going to let you be upset.
I wasn't going to kill her anyway. I just wanted to prove it would have fucking consequences next time. She can't just... get away with it. Erin can't expect me to roll over and just accept that she nearly murdered my closest friends, fucking emotionally traumatized two of them, and... what, nothing? Just move on with our shit?
[ She flexes her hand, only looking up when Helena sits down. ]
I wish she hadn't dragged you into it. It was my fight with Daisy, nobody else needed to get involved.
[a less aware person might argue that Skulduggery's situation had some similarities. born of something uncontrollable, leading to chaos and death and anguished feelings all around. but no one asked anyone to forgive the man - he openly requested his own death for it. he did his own work for amends. whatever Daisy does, it'll have to happen on her own terms. Erin can't shield her from that, and she'll say she won't try, but sometimes that means letting someone keep a knife on them to feel safe.]
That's something I'll have to talk with her about on our own time. I don't think I have the right words to bring it up yet without being...less kind.
[at the least.]
...Listen, Darcy. I hardly expect us to always be in agreement about things. That's just stupid to think. But even if we're disagreeing...all that I said, I meant. About the charm, and about caring about you. I want to know you're all right, or at the least, that you can get help if you need it.
[ Another echo of Phil's words. Funny how that seems to happen so often. One single lesson that goes on teaching her. Darcy's throat closes up, still so unsure how to handle a genuine offer of friendship like this. Of care. How to be cared for like this. Everyone else cushions it in friendly jabs or silent understanding, but Helena keeps offering it out so earnestly.
She swallows, ] Yeah- I want that too. For you, I mean. I want to know you're alright too.
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I did, [ Her voice is weak, ] I thought you were taking Erin's side. Nobody wants me to be angry here. It's... mmf. I'm sorry. I didn't know that's what you were offering.
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[it's blunt, but it conceals the depths beneath that. what caused it, why it happened, why Erin blames herself, those aren't things Darcy cares about, and not Helena's to share. that she's opened Erin's ribcage and unerringly laid her hands on her bearing heart, that's theirs to keep.]
The only thing I agree with her on is that killing her won't do any good. People come back here, so it's a useless form of revenge. But just because they come back doesn't mean it didn't happen. What you feel is still there. You can still be angry about it.
[and...she's going to sit down, to make this less of an interrogation.]
...I could have been clearer about things, though. I just didn't want her to overhear that I was going to let you be upset.
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[ She flexes her hand, only looking up when Helena sits down. ]
I wish she hadn't dragged you into it. It was my fight with Daisy, nobody else needed to get involved.
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That's something I'll have to talk with her about on our own time. I don't think I have the right words to bring it up yet without being...less kind.
[at the least.]
...Listen, Darcy. I hardly expect us to always be in agreement about things. That's just stupid to think. But even if we're disagreeing...all that I said, I meant. About the charm, and about caring about you. I want to know you're all right, or at the least, that you can get help if you need it.
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She swallows, ] Yeah- I want that too. For you, I mean. I want to know you're alright too.
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It's a pity that my signal can only reach one way. But at least on board, you can always message me, for anything.