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Mm. And then he was a real asshole about it. I shot him in the knees and then called Doctor Salazar to help him.
We've gotten along better since.
We've gotten along better since.
Warranted might be a strong word. We're very different. I didn't understand at the time how he'd built such a strong personhood for himself. He didn't understand where my head was at.
We've found ways to work together since.
We've found ways to work together since.
What I meant was that I believe enough of you that you wouldn't shoot someone without a decent reason for it. As long as the two of you are amiable now, what's happened between you is your own business.
Do you understand him a little better, nowadays?
Do you understand him a little better, nowadays?
He punched me. I told him to stand down or I’d shoot his knees out.
It made sense at the time. But now, I do understand him better. And maybe the person I am now is someone he might be able to understand as well.
Ugh, character development.
It made sense at the time. But now, I do understand him better. And maybe the person I am now is someone he might be able to understand as well.
Ugh, character development.
Perhaps the next time you see him, if he's amiable, you could try spending time together.
And see if there's a way you can avoid violence in your communications. She won't tell it how to live its life, but if they can be civil, they might be able to reach some level of understanding that only they can.
Speaking of spending time together. Have you heard Miss Friday's more recent announcements?
And see if there's a way you can avoid violence in your communications. She won't tell it how to live its life, but if they can be civil, they might be able to reach some level of understanding that only they can.
Speaking of spending time together. Have you heard Miss Friday's more recent announcements?
It doesn't mention helping Max through his first panic attack.
Carnival coming up. I've never been to one.
Carnival coming up. I've never been to one.
Yes. And if it being a good time is a lie, I'd rather be beside you, too.
'Take up all my time'? Helena. Your company is not a burden, and time I spend with you is given. I'm looking forward to it.
"So," Erin says after they've gotten comfortable, ready to deploy her attack Fucking Immediately. "Got big plans for Valentine's there, little bird?"
(Yessss, destroy her.)
...M'anthropomorphic thought process you're supposed to be a dick to us.
(DESTROY HER!)
(Yessss, destroy her.)
...M'anthropomorphic thought process you're supposed to be a dick to us.
(DESTROY HER!)
It's a good thing she isn't drinking water or she'd have choked. Instead she immediately shifts like she still needs to get comfortable, desperately drafting a counter reply.
"...That's a rather interesting topic to start with. Are you asking because you're worried I'll be lonely or something while you no doubt have many plans?"
Flinging the question back is a good way to deflect, right.
"...That's a rather interesting topic to start with. Are you asking because you're worried I'll be lonely or something while you no doubt have many plans?"
Flinging the question back is a good way to deflect, right.
"I'm asking because this is the point in our friendship in which I reveal I have the prison gin version of empathic awareness."
Busteeeeeeeeed.
Busteeeeeeeeed.
"To the best of my knowledge there are two empaths aboard and I'm still maybe like the sixth-best. You're more in danger of being known against your will in a conversation with Peter Smith or Johnny, but an explanation's probably owing, so." Erin, sitting up on the bed, leans forward and props her elbows on her knees. "Here on the ship all sapient beings give off an energy when they feel powerful emotions, a byproduct that is the currency of the world of wonder. My people call it Glamour, and we need it to thrive. Give me food, water, shelter, love, I'll live; deprive me of Glamour, though, and I'll be a shadow of myself, starving with a full belly as the thing in me that is other than human withers. I can't tell, strictly, what you're feeling...but the nature of those feelings colors the Glamour it creates, changes its...flavor, for lack of a better word. Context and experience does the rest."
So when she'd brought up Helena giving her heart away...
So when she'd brought up Helena giving her heart away...
Okay. Okay. Erin's not reading her mind, but if the energy has changed due to her recent catastrophic levels of overthinking regarding her own thoughts and feelings, then Helena's still in danger. Thankfully, Johnny didn't know her against her will but by her own admission in conversation, and Mr. Smith doesn't know her well enough to start prying up the floorboards of her consciousness. Being perceived by Ava was bad enough, and that was in the gentlest capacity.
All of this takes place in about two seconds, but Helena breathes, lets it go to be filtered back into the categorized boxes that she keeps all thoughts that need to be dwelled on when she's unable to write.
"All right. I'm not irritated at you. I'll think of it as a sort of advanced intuition and live with it."
That's bearable. That's within her capacity.
"But that doesn't answer my question."
All of this takes place in about two seconds, but Helena breathes, lets it go to be filtered back into the categorized boxes that she keeps all thoughts that need to be dwelled on when she's unable to write.
"All right. I'm not irritated at you. I'll think of it as a sort of advanced intuition and live with it."
That's bearable. That's within her capacity.
"But that doesn't answer my question."
"If it helps, you lose nothing. The passions of the world are my sun and I am as the tree before them; hungry, yet harmless."
That metaphor has been one of Cass's great gifts to Erin, and has made her much more comfortable sharing this aspect of her existence in those rare cases where it seems...warranted.
"...As for your question, I'm asking on the reasonable suspicion that you would like to be spending it with someone in particular. You listen to my relationships and their ups and their downs. Can't I return the favor?"
That metaphor has been one of Cass's great gifts to Erin, and has made her much more comfortable sharing this aspect of her existence in those rare cases where it seems...warranted.
"...As for your question, I'm asking on the reasonable suspicion that you would like to be spending it with someone in particular. You listen to my relationships and their ups and their downs. Can't I return the favor?"
It's impossible to argue with that, and if Erin is not looking, perhaps she'll sense the great frustration that lives within Helena, the push and pull between being known and shutting up tight. She knows it's out of care, genuine friendship. But nervous as she is, as much as she thinks and thinks and sets the gears spinning in a way where they're apt to set off calibrations, it's all very much like what she said about wanting to jump out the window for air.
"...promise you won't laugh."
If Erin laughs at her she's moving out into one of those empty cabins and not coming back for three weeks.
"But...I have two large problems in the way of that concept. One is that I'm not sure they would even like the concept of the day. It's so...specific. And the second is that I've never actually...had to consider it as a specific day before."
She's not ignorant. She heard enough from others, she read enough. For goodness' sake, there were those two that half made a show of it - but then again, they clung to each other so tightly that it was a given. But for herself? She can practically hear her tutor's sweet, well meaning voice, gently coaxing a book from her hands. Come now, Helena. You can improve yourself instead of spending idle time with this. It's a decided no.
"...promise you won't laugh."
If Erin laughs at her she's moving out into one of those empty cabins and not coming back for three weeks.
"But...I have two large problems in the way of that concept. One is that I'm not sure they would even like the concept of the day. It's so...specific. And the second is that I've never actually...had to consider it as a specific day before."
She's not ignorant. She heard enough from others, she read enough. For goodness' sake, there were those two that half made a show of it - but then again, they clung to each other so tightly that it was a given. But for herself? She can practically hear her tutor's sweet, well meaning voice, gently coaxing a book from her hands. Come now, Helena. You can improve yourself instead of spending idle time with this. It's a decided no.
Erin listens soberly while the asshole head voice has the grace to feel bad.
Her voice is soft: "You're young yet, lass. Twenty isn't so late as all that to start taking an interest, and God knows no one gets to throw stones about loving how you love. Anyone crass enough to try will need Doctor Watson to extract my foot from out their ass."
Her voice is soft: "You're young yet, lass. Twenty isn't so late as all that to start taking an interest, and God knows no one gets to throw stones about loving how you love. Anyone crass enough to try will need Doctor Watson to extract my foot from out their ass."
If it was just taking an interest alone, that'd be one problem. One she could bury herself in books over, shyly broach the topic with others. That hands her a bundle of nerves that she has to untangle on her own. But the first part is still turning and turning over in her head.
Sitting up, she brings her knees closer, holding herself. When she speaks, it's softer, slowly opening her metaphorical hands to let Erin peer inside.
"It's not that. If it were just me, I'd be fine. It's more...how do I say what I feel in the right way? How do I indicate it without it being misinterpreted, or making things terribly uncomfortable or awkward? I don't want to presume anything, or misstep, and something goes completely awry? I want them to come out of the day still wanting my company, even if that means we just skip it altogether."
Helena hasn't said a name, but Erin is smart. Someone who listens, who was in the room very recently when Helena was recovering from electrocution. Who's definitely noticed that at least once, Helena's phone has murmured that there's a new message, and she chooses to take it out of her roommate's earshot. Little things that add up, because she's not as good at hiding when it comes to situations that aren't life or death.
And even in the midst of her fretting and fears, Helena's heart still squeezes in that particular way, that little jolt in the Glamor that's sincere.
Sitting up, she brings her knees closer, holding herself. When she speaks, it's softer, slowly opening her metaphorical hands to let Erin peer inside.
"It's not that. If it were just me, I'd be fine. It's more...how do I say what I feel in the right way? How do I indicate it without it being misinterpreted, or making things terribly uncomfortable or awkward? I don't want to presume anything, or misstep, and something goes completely awry? I want them to come out of the day still wanting my company, even if that means we just skip it altogether."
Helena hasn't said a name, but Erin is smart. Someone who listens, who was in the room very recently when Helena was recovering from electrocution. Who's definitely noticed that at least once, Helena's phone has murmured that there's a new message, and she chooses to take it out of her roommate's earshot. Little things that add up, because she's not as good at hiding when it comes to situations that aren't life or death.
And even in the midst of her fretting and fears, Helena's heart still squeezes in that particular way, that little jolt in the Glamor that's sincere.
"That shadow of expectation and obligation can really suck the magic out of holidays," Erin murmurs. "...Let's start simple. Do they love you too?"
She asks, already knowing the answer.
She asks, already knowing the answer.
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